bg: This turned into a very musical edition. Kudus to Lion! lostieAR
Richard: And that is when I parted the Red Sea.
Rygc
Richard: All this can be yours, John...................for a kidney.....
shootingstar815
Richard: .... And then this helicopter flew over and dropped a huge supply of Dharma Botox...
shootingstar815
Richard: ..and over on that mountain is where Jacob and I invented the man purse...
darien_ambrose
Locke: Ok, so I get three wishes, right?
rememberGoodwin
Locke: so it's a movie......hmmm....The King and I!!!......ahh, Jesus Christ Superstar!!.....um......
Rygc
Come over to the dark side, John, and all this will be yours!
Rygc
I wuv you this much, Johnny! John is my hero!! Isn't he the cutest thing??
MingoLeger
Richard: I'm telling you, John, Ben's woo hoo is THIS big. Why do you find it so hard to believe?
John: Why do you find it so easy?
MingoLeger
Richard auditions for the part of Moses in the remake of the Ten Commandments.
hellolost
Richard: And then I created all this!
Locke thinking to self: I wonder why he doesn't get sweat rings under his arm. I have to ask him for some Dharma Deodorant.
radioactive_4
.... it's fun to stay at the Y........M.C.A!
darien_ambrose
Richard: I command thee to rise up and stand...you are healed! You can walk again!
Locke: Dude, didn't you guest appear on Scrubs?
General_Board
"The hiiiiiiiiills are alive, with the sound of muuuuuuuusic!!!!!"
LIONARTist
Raindrops on palm leaves and whiskers on Sawyer
Bright copper hatches and a crooked lawyer
Brown paper packages which DHARMA drops
These are a few of my favorite props.
Black colored horses and ranch flavored dressing
Rock Gods and hot bods and time that's digressing
Green birds that fly and say "Hurley" at stops
These are a few of my favorite props
Girls in white undies who swim to find cases
Junkies who snort with their nose and freebases
Silver white coconuts from the trees they will drop
These are a few of my favorite props
When the boar bites
When the bee stings
When I'm feeling Ben
I simply remember my favorite props
And then I feel young agaaaiiiin
LIONARTist
How do you solve a problem like Ben Linus?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Ben Linus?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a wave upon the sand
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Ben Linus?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
When I'm with him I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
He's as flighty as a feather
He's a darling! She's a demon! She's a lamb!
LIONARTist
Richard: John, let me tell you the story of how Ben and I first met.....
(Breaks into song)
High on a hill was a lonely goat-teurd
Lay me odl lay me odl lay hee hoo
Loud was the voice of the lonely goat-teurd
Lay me odl lay me odl-oo
Folks in a town that was quite remote heard
Lay me odl lay me odl lay mee hoo
Lusty and clear from the goat-teurd's throat heard
Lay me odl lay me odl-oo
O ho lay mee odl mee o, o ho lay dee odl ay
O ho lay mee odl mee o, lay mee odl lee o lay
A prince on the bridge of a castle moat heard
Lay me odl lay me odl lay mee hoo
Men on a road with a load to tote heard
Lay me odl lay me odl-oo
Men in the midst of a choking throat heard
Lay me odl lay me odl lay mee hoo
Men drinking beer in a van remote heard
Lay me odl lay me odl-oo
One little boy in a DHARMA coat heard
Lay Me odl lay Me odl lay hee hoo
He yodeled back to the lonely goat-teurd
Lay me odl lay me odl-oo
Soon his Daddy with a gleaming boat heard
Lay me odl lay me odl lay mee hoo
What a duet for a boy and goat-teurd
Lay me odl lay me odl-oo
Ummm (ummm) . . .
Odl lay me (odl lay ee)
Odl lay mee hee (odl lay hee hee)
Odl lay me . . .
One little boy in a DHARMA coat heard
Lay meodl lay me odl lay hoo hoo
He yodeled back to the lonely goat-teurd
Lay me odl lay me odl-Hoooooooo!
042078
John: Tell me more tell me more, how much dough did he spend?
LIONARTist
John: "What do you mean....you wanna give me....the island?"
Richard: " I'm getting older, John. Even though I don't look like it. I can't live forever. Hop into my Alpertvator and I'll show you around the island, John"
John: "Alpertvator?"
Richard: "Yes. Alpervator. It can go up and down and sideways and longways...."
Richard and John enter the Alpervator
Richard:
"Come with meeee.......
and you'll be......
In a world of pure imagination
Take a look and you'll see
Into your imagination
We'll begin with a spin
Trav'ling in the world of my creation
What we'll see..... will defy
Explanation
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to be
If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world, there's nothing to it
There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you'll be free
If you truly wish to beeeee...."
John: "Gee... Can Grandpa Joe come and live on the island too?"
Richard: "No. No grandpas allowed"
CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts
Richard:
Well life on the island is never laid back
Ain't much an old island boy like me cant hack
Got everybody's files here in my sack
Thank God I'm a hostile boy
Impersonating Dharma never did me no harm
I always look young and I'm full of charm
I love to sing like this and raise my arms
Thank God I'm a hostile boy
Well I got me a tan but I wish I had a fiddle
When the suns comin up, got Dharma cakes on the griddle
Ol' Ben likes to speak in funny, funny riddles
Thank God we're some hostile boys.
John: ::thinking:: if I were wearing underwear right now, I'd throw them at him.
justacoolguy36
Richard: SIMBA!! I AM YOUR FAHTHAH!!
John: I don't think Mufasa ever said that . . .
Richard: Mufasa, Darth Vader . . . it's all James Earl Jones
CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts
Richard: "HOOORAAAAYYYY DHARMA BEER!"
LIONARTist
Richard: "Is very seemple, John. My father, Juan Valdez would bring the coffee bean down from the mountains off Colombia on his mule Conchita, and he would pick only THE FINEST COFFEE BEANS"
John: "What the hell is he on about now?"
lockesladyluv
richard, you once had a part in magnum, pi didn't you???
MissingPlane
..thats rite John! what better place for you to get away from all those shucksters and jivers!!,, THIS IS IT!,, and it ALL could be yours for only a modest down payment of 100 thousand dollars..You got 100 thousand dollars??
MissingPlane
Okay!,,OKAY!!,,,So You were Right John!,, Big Freekin WoopDeeDoo!!! John Was Right About The Horse!! WOWLEKERS!!!
BulletProofBreast
Richard: Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....
Locke: that was a horrible Fonz impression!
Richard: was not!!!
Locke: shut up, eyeliner boy
zenmaster5280
Richard Alpert: "Someday Locke, you can turn all this volcanic ash into kohl pencils and liquid eyeliner. Its your destiny!"
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