Phone it in Monday Edition

The_Bionic_Guy
Sayid : Ok who want's pizza?

scoont
Danielle: I'm not in your five?

hatch_n_sniff
Danielle: "I can kill with my bare hands."
Sayid: "I can kill with my bare feet."
Jack: "I get so hopped up on Oxycodin and whiskey I have no idea how they die."

lockesladyluv
Really, jack... i dialed the number Locke gave me and some woman named Helen answered and asked me for my credit card number before she would talk to me....

BelleLP9
Danielle: I know I've been in the jungle alone for a long time, but I swear it wasn't me making the 900-number calls with your phone!
Jack: Yeah, I'd check with Locke.
Sayid: Why do you say that?
Jack: I saw it in a flashforw...a flashba....nevermind.

mlj2298
Jack- Sayid I don't think even Verizon will get you a signal out here.
Sayid- But they said it's the network with the most coverage!

EEEJackYourLate
Danielle: Now, don't make me take my belt off and bend you over my knee

systemfailure2
Jack: What's making all the posts disappear?
Danielle: I think it's the security system, what you people call "the monster" or "George".
Sayid: I believe there is something jamming the signal to the board.

yoshie_b
Sayid: I hate to say it Jack, but after seeing the two of you together... I have to agree. Danielle IS more of a man than you.
Jack: *cries*

Rocc_Holliday
Sayid: ok, now whoever can do a better spout gets this nifty phone . . .

Bullet_Proof_Breast
Sayid: I found this phone in Kate's things...
*phones goes off* secret loooooooooooovers....
Jack: *grabs the phone* caller id says...Sawyer?!?!?

slpy
I just got a call from Simon, Simon says, put your hands on your hips.

MingoLeger
Danielle: Seriously, do you get service out here? Cuz I gotta tell you, I do a lotta work down here and it's a crap shoot.

TheGeoff
Every time we try to hold an important meeting, someone's cell phone rings!

back_gammon
Sayid: It sounded like the voice said "Help me."

042078
Sayid: Who are you going to call, jack?
Everybody: GHOSTBUSTERS!

TheGeoff
Good morning, Mr. Jarrah. This is Oceanic Airlines, conducting a customer satisfaction survey about your flight on September 22.

grannieindisguise
Sayid: I think Danielle should carry the phone. This thing is so heavy it'll stretch my pocket out of shape. And she has the belt.
Danielle: I think Jack should carry it in his teeth. That'll keep him quiet.
Jack: *cries*
Danielle: Bad idea, he'll get it wet. I'll carry it.
retrop51
Sayid: Simon says, "Put your hands on your hips."
"Put out your cell phones."
Danielle: You're terrible at this game, Sayid. You never get anybody because you telegraph your intentions.

TheGeoff
Sayid: Help! We were in a plane crash.
Voice on phone: What? I can't hear you. Flame rash?
Sayid: We were in a plane crash.
Voice on phone: Put some aloe on it.
Sayid: Listen to me. We are stranded on an island.
Voice on phone: Sorry, we've got a bad connection. I'll have to call you back.
Sayid: Stranded on an island!
Voice on phone: Brandon Ryland? I'll call you back immediately, Mr. Ryland.

Action_Potential
Sayid: Hey Jack, the crybaby store called, and they're running out of you! hahahahaha
Jack:... In the future, I'm gonna get a razr, you'll see!
Danielle: I could use a razor.

TheGeoff
Jack: We need to call for help.
Sayid: Not me. I've already used all my minutes this month.

Action_Potential
Danielle: You mean to tell me that this phone costs $800 and you have stay up all night in line to get one?
Sayid: Yes, it's got GPS, video, texting, and I was able to triangulate the signal to download my favorite ring tone "getting jiggy with it"...

Action_Potential
Sayid: Curses! I finally managed to triangulate the signal but the connection was hacked by some kid, noooooo!
Danielle: Oh yeah, George Hotz, the 17 year old college freshman who hacked the iphone over the weekend.
Sayid: How'd you hear about that?
Danielle: I read it online on your phone.

Sointuit
I know you want to carry the phone Jack, but if Rousseau carries it in her cleavage she still has two free hands to combat the others.

TheGeoff
Jack: I forgot I still have my ex-wife's cell phone. Maybe we can use it to call for help.
Sayid: I'll call the first number in its memory.
Voice on phone: Sarah! You haven't called in a long time. I thought your husband found out about us.
Sayid: I'm not Sarah. I'm a survivor of a plane crash. We've been stranded on an island since-Voice on phone: Sayid? Is that you?
Sayid: Sawyer?

MeSlapMeThrowSawyerInMyBed
Sayid: "They want to know if we have Prince Albert in a can."

MeSlapMeThrowSawyerInMyBed
Sayid to Jack: "It's Donald Trump, he says you're fired."

TheGeoff
Sayid: I don't understand it. I programmed 42 numbers into this phone, it says it has 42 numbers, and yet I can only see 23.
Danielle: That happens all the time on this island. I call it George. If you add a number for someone named George, the other numbers should appear.

MeSlapMeThrowSawyerInMyBed
Sayid: "What's wrong with anchovies?"

CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts
Sayid: Who's cell phone is this?
Jack: I think that phone belongs to Vincent.
Sayid: Vincent? But he's a dog. Why would a dog have a cell phone?
Danielle: He gets free roll over minutes.

hatch_n_sniff
SAYID: Danielle it's for you. It's Richard.
DANIELLE: Why are you calling me on this phone?
Ricky, did you lose my number!!!

CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts
Sayid: Yes, Jack. Just as soon as I call Ticketmaster and get Danielle some Indigo Girls tickets, I will call Walgreens and see if the prescription you wrote yourself is ready. Should I see if they're running a sale on Kleenex while I'm at it?

hatch_n_sniff
SAYID: ......it was a telemarketer, wondered if we needed new windows.I hung up on him.....I HUNG UP ON HIM!!!!!

Bullet_Proof_Breast
Jack: you mean to tell me you've had this phone the whole time and you ran the batteries dry calling 900 numbers?!?!?!
Sayid: that's not all I ran dry

hatch_n_sniff
SAYID: ....why have phone sex when we have Kate?

Cheezeee
Sayid: Who set "Cry me a river" as the ring tone ?
Danielle: I did. I thought it was Jack's phone.

The_Bionic_Guy
RING...RING!
Danielle: "If it's for me,say I’m not in."

hatch_n_sniff
Danielle: It has been sixteen years, tell me what does this phone do?
Sayid: Well you can store information, connect to the internet and even take pictures, see.
Danielle: Amazing. Look at these pictures!
Jack: Hey Sayid, show her the pictures of Alex bathing in the stream.