Black Patch Down

(bg: Thanks to everyone who make Ben-a-palooza week so much fun! I hope you enjoyed the caption contests as much as I did.)

TheGeoff
Ben: Before you blew up the sub, we had communications with the mainland. Mikhael here could easily find out about every plane that crashed on this island. Now he has to lie on his back and watch them come down.

JustMech
Ben: "I just asked for your father's body, John. You don't have to drag everyone that you kill into camp."

Caladhiel
Locke: What?

JustMech
He tripped.

wednesdayworld
Female extra # 1: Those were starting to look good . . .
Female extra # 2: Gawd I miss shopping for new boots!

JustMech
Ben: "FINISH HIM!!!"

hatch_n_sniff
"Locke can not hide his dissapointment when there's no candy in Ben's birthday pinata."

Ctrl-Z
Ben: "oh, big deal! see that girl over there in the tank top? SHE messed him up a lot worst last week."

WeatherRock
Locke: Now that the Dharma drops have stopped we need to go Donner Party............ I killed him......you clean him

CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts
Ben: I'm in charge around here, I should get to go first.
Locke: I knocked him out, I'm gonna go first.
Ben: Nuh-Uh!
Locke: Nuh-Huh!
Ben: Wanna play Rock-Paper-Scissors for it?
Ben and Locke argue over who will be the first to teabag Mikhail

grannieindisguise
Locke: How 'bout you, Bug Eye? You ready for your nap?

llanoestacada
Locke: "You're next you little bug-eyed bastard, unless you start comming across with some answers!"
Ben: "OK, OK. Kate slept with Sawyer."
Locke: "And is Jack banging your ex?"
Ben: "You heartless son of a *****"

llanoestacada
Ben: "I wouldn't turn my back on him just yet. Haven't you seen Halloween?"

brotha_desi
Ben: I've told you not to do things like that John!
John: don't tell me what i can't do ben! you're next boy!

justacoolguy36
Ben: I only put in one bullet . . . that's like an 8% chance . . .
Locke: 8%!?! who taught you math!?
guess the movie

justacoolguy36
Ben: "Don't blame me! I mean come on, the drink is called 'adios mother f---er' for a reason!"

bringingSazyback
Ben: Whadja do that for, John?
Locke: Cuz he has pretty hair...............so do you.
Ben:

bringingSazyback
Locke: Now Ben.....you're gonna take me to see Jacob, isn't that right Mikhail?
Mikhail:
Locke: And after that, we are going to build a smoke lodge, isn't that right Mikhail?
Mikhail: Look, could you just leave me out of it?
Ben: I'll take you to Jacob, but you can forget about the smoke lodge. Right, Mikhail?
Mikhail: I think that bald bastard knocked half my teeth loose.
Locke: Oh, we're gonna build the smoke lodge. We're gonna build a smoke lodge and you're gonna like it. Isn't that right, Mikhail.
Mikhail: Look, I really don't care. Just let me bleed in peace.
Ben: Alright. We'll build the smoke lodge but I'm not going in it. Smoking is bad for your health, isn't it Mikhail.
Mikhail: Look if you two are going to have a ******* contest, can you do it downhill? I've got enough trouble here.
Locke: Oh, you're going in that smoke lodge, Ben. You're going in and you're gonna like it. Isn't he, Mikhail.
Mikhail: I can't believe you are still talking to me. Shut up!
Ben: I'll go in the smoke lodge if we can forget about going to see Jacob. Jacob doesn't like surprise visitors, does he Mikhail.
Mikhail: I am so going to stick my rubber boot up your butt.......as soon as I can stand up.
Locke: You, me, Jacob AND Mikhail are going in the smoke lodge and we're going to have a vision, isn't that right Mikh...
Mikhail: That's it!
Mikhail jumps up and shoots them both and everyone lives happily ever after.
bringingSazyback
Locke: How do you fire this gun Chino? By pulling this little trigger!? How many bullets are left Chino? Enough for YOU? Or YOU? All of you!! You ALL killed him! And my brother! And Riff! Not with bullets and knives! With HATE! Well, I can kill now too, because now I have hate!!! How many can I kill Chino? How many -- and still have one bullet left for me?
Ben: Well we did it. We finally broke his brain.

LIONARTist
John: "And THAT...is how we deal with sissy boot-wearing one-eyed patch wearin fancy dans who speak with bad Russian accents in my neighborhood. Anyone else here wanna be a sissy boot-wearing one-eyed patch wearin fancy dan? I didn't think so."

LIONARTist
Mikhail: "..and now we transition into the next Yoga position, the bludgeoned nutfrog. Hey, how come no one's doing this with me?"
John: "What-the-hell's he talkin bout?"
Ben: "Just humor him. He thinks he's on TV"

LIONARTist
Ben: "John...I've never been more attracted to you than I am right now. Kick him again. Ooooohhh! Yes! That's the way. Oh MY! I feel so alive!"

CheckieEatsOrganicPoptarts
Ben: John, why did you beat up Mikhail?
Locke: He said he wanted to rub my bald head, and I told him he could.
Ben: Uhm, so why did you beat him up after you gave him permission to do it?
Locke: :: pointing up :: I thought he was talking about this head.

LIONARTist
What?

lockesladyluv
mother always did like him best...

MissingPlane
.Ben...uum excuse me Locke,,i have to go find my glasses...

Macabilly
Ben: I only put in one bullet . . . that's like an 8% chance . . .
Locke: 8%!?! who taught you math!?
guess the movie

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang
(hope it hasnt been said already!)
great movie FTW

MissingPlane
...Sayid broke his nose..I had to reset it for him...you understand..

MissingPlane
..Until TPTB bring back Bernard,,we're just gonna have to do denistry around here the old fashion way!

MissingPlane
...just remember Ben..no job is too dirty for Mr Clean!!

I am Lockes stolen kidney
Ben: Why'd you do that John?
Locke: The first rule of fight club is you do NOT talk about fight club, and the second rule is...
Ben [takes out tape-recorder]: note to self: DO NOT invite John to movie night anymore.... and he's out of the book club too.

The_Victims
Locke: Ben, this is what happens when you take the last of the toilet paper and dont put a new roll in...
or
Ben: locke, what did u do?
locke: hey, at least i didnt blow anything up...

hatch_n_sniff
BEN: "Would someone please clean up old Mr. Puss-n-Boots over there."

Empty_Cans
Ben: Locke you can't always expect miracles, people don't just fall from the sky you know.
*BANG*
Ben: No...he ...er ... just tripped and fell Locke.
mental note *Dammit, wish Mikhale would stop trying to convince people he can fly*